When was the first time you felt like you weren’t enough? Too much?
I often fall into this trap of feeling like I’m both parts not enough and too much. On one side of my anxiety is the feeling that I don’t travel enough, that I don’t save enough money, that I’m not working hard enough, that I’m not enough of the person I want to be. On the other side is that I am too opinionated, too steadfast in my beliefs, too emotionally independent, too sarcastic, too emotional.
It’s so easy to get sucked into measuring ourselves up to what we think we should be, who we should be — as if there is a correct amount of *something* that we need to be. There’s no measurable “enough” to determine where we fall on the scale — no decided amount from which we compare ourselves. We decide this on our own. Sometimes society helps put these ideas in our head, but ultimately it’s our own insecurities that cause us to think who we are is just not good enough. It’s also you who gets decide that you are enough. All the enough-ness that sums you up is what makes you you.
Growing into myself has allowed me to find healthier ways to deal with my anxiety surrounding this and discover what I will and won’t allow in people around me. Growing up, especially in the age of social media, there’s a stinging feeling like the quantity of “friends” you have speaks the most about you. That’s just not true — hello dad who has given me his different circle of friends speech since I was seven. It’s surrounding yourself with people who don’t question your enough-ness but rather they shut down your own self-doubts.
I know these feelings may never fully subside, but they don’t scream at me daily. Nor am I the only one who feels them. If we all feel like we aren’t enough to too much, how can we actually determine what is enough? There is no defined enough to live by so stop holding yourself up to a standard that doesn’t exist. I am enough for myself, just like you are enough for yourself. Anything more or less and you wouldn’t be you.
Articles I Read
“You get to live your best life when you put out your best life. We think we need to only take care of ourselves. But you don’t need to hoard every beautiful thing that comes your way. If you give freely with your words, time, and knowledge, it comes back so much greater.”
Climber Completes the Most Dangerous Rope-Free Ascent Ever, National Geographic
Alana Massey Alana has received my praise several times before. She’s an incredible, thought-provoking writer and I devour everything she writes. I just finished up a writing class with her and she is a refreshingly honest instructor who gives valuable feedback. Pay attention to her, she’s going places. Also, if you ever get the chance to learn from her, DO IT.
YOUNG VOTERS: Join me, for Megan’s politics corner. If you haven’t been paying attention to British politics recently, Theresa May called a snap election in an effort to move into Brexit negotiations with a strong majority. For weeks, it looked like the Conservatives would win in a landslide, but then the Labour party started picking up speed (Labour = democratic socialism). & tonight (last night for you readers) Labour picked up enough seats in parliament for a hung parliament — no party has absolute control. This means Labour and Conservatives will try to form a coalition with smaller parties to get to the 326 seats needed for the majority. If that doesn’t work, the Conservatives will be forced to be a minority leader, which would make it difficult for them to pass their agenda in Parliament.
Labour won areas of the U.K that they didn’t even focus on — areas that were overwhelming for Leave one year ago. This shows a huge shift in ideologies. Even more so, young people overwhelmingly showed up for Labour. Younger generations are moving very left, democratic socialism is on the rise. This election is a lesson for left parties everywhere: without young voters, you can’t win, with young voters, nothing is impossible.
This weekend I’m taking a writing workshop with So Say We All. I start a more intense writing class on Monday so this will be good brain boost. Much like reading, my writing has also struggled recently. I’m hoping this weekend helps me out.